Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
