my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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