Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
