it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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