Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
