its not stalking. its research.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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