Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
