omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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