Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
