We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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