I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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