The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
two words...techno handjob
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
