It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
