Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
