I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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