So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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