Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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