we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
