I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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