just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
