i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
