Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I will be naked everywhere
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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