Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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