I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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