Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
