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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
