thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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