i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
