sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize