I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
