I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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