We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My vagina is very pro this idea
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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