I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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