did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
