his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
