Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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