Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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