that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
