I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
