Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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