I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
