Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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