quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
