Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
