4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
