ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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