so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
