I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
