Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
