Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize