A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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