Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
