his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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