I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
