WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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