I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
