oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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