And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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