if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
