nut hugger
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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