Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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