Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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