I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
