the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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