I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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