HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
