y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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