I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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