The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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