The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
