This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
